at the sound of what could only be a small rodent crawling up her arm.
Just a nitpicky note (since you're trying for a competition, even if this isn't the entry): Tegan might flinch at the sound of a rodent moving nearby, or she might flinch at feeling something crawling up her arm, but if something's crawling up her arm, it's definitely not going to be the sound of it she's flinching at. And I would humbly suggest that at that point she'd be doing more than flinching (probably to puzzled stares from the other two). ;-)
(I do like a bit of team Five! I hope you didn't mind my comment!)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2017-06-07 08:28 am (UTC)Good luck with the competition, too.
at the sound of what could only be a small rodent crawling up her arm.
Just a nitpicky note (since you're trying for a competition, even if this isn't the entry): Tegan might flinch at the sound of a rodent moving nearby, or she might flinch at feeling something crawling up her arm, but if something's crawling up her arm, it's definitely not going to be the sound of it she's flinching at. And I would humbly suggest that at that point she'd be doing more than flinching (probably to puzzled stares from the other two). ;-)
(I do like a bit of team Five! I hope you didn't mind my comment!)